Take a deep breath—you made it here.
Parenting neuro-unique kids—whether they are autistic, ADHDers, experience anxiety, or sensory processing differences—can feel like navigating uncharted territory. There’s no perfect map, but there are guiding lights: curiosity, connection, and compassion.Parenting is full of moments we wish we could redo. One of mine happened shortly after my son’s ADHD assessment when he asked me, “Do I have ADHD?”
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It wasn’t in a private moment; he asked this in front of his friend.
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I froze for a split second, then blurted out, “What do you think?” It wasn’t a bad question in itself, but the timing and context were all wrong. My son looked confused, his friend fidgeted awkwardly, and I realized immediately that I’d mishandled an important conversation.
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That moment stayed with me. I hadn’t been intentional about how or when I wanted to talk to him about his diagnosis. Instead of giving him clarity and reassurance, I left him feeling uncertain and probably a little embarrassed.
The start of a new season or year isn’t about adding more to your already full plate. It’s about aligning your intentions with your family’s unique rhythm and showing up with clarity and care.
To pause instead of react.
To focus on connection over correction.
To let go of perfection and celebrate progress.
When we parent with intention, we build safety and trust—essential ingredients for emotional growth and resilience.
Let’s step into this journey together, one small moment at a time.
Parenting Tips for an Intentional Year with Neuro-Unique Kids & Teens
Just like cooking, parenting requires experimentation, flexibility, and a willingness to adjust the recipe based on who’s at the table. Every family has different “taste buds”—one child might need extra predictability, while another thrives on spontaneity. Some days, you might nail the recipe perfectly, and other days, it might feel like the cake didn’t rise. And that’s okay.
The key is to keep showing up, adjusting the ingredients, and remembering that every family’s recipe will look a little different.
Here are a few “ingredients” you can start with:
1. Heaping Scoop of Curiosity: Supporting Emotional Regulation in Neuro-Unique Kids
When emotions start bubbling over like a pot left unwatched on the stove, pause and ask yourself, “What might my child need right now?”
- Shift frustration to curiosity—behavior is always communication.
- Instead of asking, “Why are they doing this?” ask, “What are they trying to tell me?”
Intention Tip: “This year, I will pause and approach my child’s behavior with curiosity, not judgment.”
Example Scenario: Your ADHD child refuses to wear socks. Instead of saying, “Just put them on already!” try, “Do the socks feel scratchy or tight? Let’s try a different pair.”
2. Tablespoons of Connection: Building Trust Through Social and Emotional Learning
Connection is like salt—it enhances every other ingredient in your parenting recipe. Without it, even the best strategies might fall flat.
- Small, intentional moments—a validating word, a shared joke, a calm presence—build trust and emotional safety.
- Connection protects kids during emotional storms.
Intention Tip: “This year, I will prioritize connection over correction.”
Example Scenario: During a meltdown, instead of saying, “Calm down!” try, “I see you’re upset. I’m here with you. Take your time.”
A Dash of Self-Compassion: Parenting with Grace & Understanding
Cooking while stressed rarely results in a delicious meal, and parenting while overwhelmed often feels the same. Give yourself the grace to make mistakes and learn from them.
- Mistakes (yours and your child’s) are opportunities for growth.
- Speak to yourself with the same kindness you offer your child.
Intention Tip: “This year, I will treat myself with kindness, even on the hardest days.”
Example Scenario: After raising your voice during a stressful moment, you say, “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I felt overwhelmed. Let’s take a moment together.”
3. Cups of Predictability & Flexibility: Creating Safe, Sensory-Friendly Routines
Every family has their own favorite “go-to meals”—routines that work consistently. For some kids, it’s knowing exactly what to expect at bedtime; for others, it’s having a flexible space to adjust plans when needed.
- Build routines that feel safe and predictable.
- Leave room for adjustments when needed.
Intention Tip: “This year, I will create routines that support my child’s sensory needs while staying flexible.”
Example Scenario: Your anxious child struggles with loud spaces. Instead of pushing through, say, “Let’s take a break outside for a few minutes and come back when you’re ready.”
Your Family’s Parenting Recipe
Here’s your Intentional Parenting Recipe in one simple card:
- 1 Heaping Scoop of Curiosity: Pause, ask, and approach with curiosity.
- 2 Tablespoons of Connection: Build trust through intentional moments.
- A Dash of Self-Compassion: Show yourself grace on hard days.
- 3 Cups of Predictability & Flexibility: Create routines with room for adjustments.
- A Sprinkle of Reflection: Celebrate small wins and focus on what’s working.
Instructions: Stir gently, season with patience, and serve daily with love and intention. Adjust ingredients as needed for your unique family’s taste.
No two recipes will look exactly the same, and that’s the beauty of it.
Parenting Scripts: Say This, Not That – A Quick Recap of Your Go-To Ingredients
Just like a recipe card pinned to your fridge, these scripts are here as a quick reference—a reminder of the small shifts we’ve already explored. Think of them as your “go-to seasoning blends” for those tricky parenting moments when you need to add a pinch of connection, a dash of curiosity, or a sprinkle of self-compassion.
Say This: “Do the socks feel scratchy or tight? Let’s try a different pair.”
Not That: “Just put the socks on already!”
Say This: “I see you’re upset. I’m here with you. Take your time.”
Not That: “Calm down right now!”
Say This: “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I felt overwhelmed. Let’s take a moment together.”
Not That: “I can’t believe I lost my temper again. I’m the worst parent!”
Say This: “Let’s take a break outside and come back when you’re ready.”
Not That: “We’re staying here—stop fussing!”
These are a helpful recap of the scripts we’ve already stirred into our parenting recipe above. Keep them handy for quick reference when the heat starts rising in the kitchen.
Because sometimes, all you need is a quick reminder to shift the flavor of the moment.
Let Me Help You With the Cooking: The Family Connection Subscription
Think of The Family Connection Subscription as your monthly meal plan for social-emotional learning:
One focus each month—no overwhelm, just clarity.
Bite-sized strategies you can sprinkle into your daily routine.
Simple tools that fit into your family’s rhythm, not on top of it.
Connection-first parenting tips delivered right to you.
Let me do the planning, prepping, and organizing. You simply show up, sprinkle in what works, and enjoy those small moments of connection—one step, one month, one intentional focus at a time.
Your Family, Your Recipe
You don’t need every ingredient in the store—just a few key ones used with care and intention. Parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up with love, one moment at a time.
What’s one parenting intention you want to set this year? Share in the comments below!