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As parents, we often celebrate the milestones of our children’s development—no more diapers, no more breast pumping. But the challenges don’t simply disappear as they grow older. Dealing with older kids comes with its own set of hurdles, including fostering independence and ensuring they understand responsibilities at home and school. I have struggled with supporting my boys’ executive functioning skill development and not nagging them to JUST DO IT! But I have found some go-to, practical strategies to enhance their initiation and independence over the years, helping me step away from the role of the “nag” and empower them for success.
1. Family Meetings: Enhancing Communication and Teamwork
Incorporate the wisdom of Positive Discipline (PD) to facilitate family meetings. These gatherings promote problem-solving, mutual support, and planning. A structured space to discuss smoother team operations and support for each other, family meetings are a place for scheduling weekly activities, meals, and collaborative fun. Implementing designated days for contributions, like “hump day helper,” encourages buy-in and engagement.
2. Weekly Planners: Visualizing Success
The transition from paper planners to innovative visual tools for the whole family to see. Display weekly schedules with magnets, simplifying everyone’s understanding of commitments. By having a clear view of the week ahead, family members can efficiently plan their tasks to accommodate scheduled events, fostering improved executive functioning skills.
3. Visual Schedules: Encouraging Independence
Harness the power of visual routines, which research shows are valuable for even young children. Craft visual routines for tasks like tooth brushing and school preparation. By using pictures, drawings, or words, you help your child understand expectations, encouraging independent action without constant reminders.
4. Visual Tactile Systems: Encouraging Accountability
Embrace tactile feedback with visual systems, such as using clothespins on foam boards. This system provides a clear “to do” and “done” side for each task. As kids move tasks from one side to the other, they enjoy a tangible sense of accomplishment, reducing your role as a parent-nag and promoting autonomy.
5. Match the Picture: Setting Clear Expectations
Implement the “Match the Picture” strategy inspired by experts Sarah Ward and Kristen Jacobsen. Use photos to showcase expected outcomes, guiding children toward understanding tasks’ end goals. For instance, posting images of a well-made bed or organized desk reinforces expectations and encourages task completion.
6. Indirect Verbal Prompting: Nurturing Decision-Making Skills
Shift from direct commands (i.e.,“Pick up your socks and put them in the laundry bin” to indirect prompts (i.e., “I noticed some dirty socks on the floor”).. Encourage your child’s internal self-talk by highlighting cues in their environment. This approach fosters problem-solving and decision-making, integral aspects of executive functioning. Maintain a positive tone and considerate expression to enhance interactions.
By involving children in responsibilities, you cultivate essential executive functioning skills and reinforce teamwork’s importance. These strategies alleviate stress, cooperation, and liberate parents from the nagging role. Remember, building a supportive community of caregivers contributes to collective growth and shared learning.
For further guidance on age-appropriate chores, visit: Age-Appropriate Household Chores
Ready to deepen your knowledge and have access to over 200 practical suggestions just like these to build your child’s social-emotional learning and executive functioning? Discover more insights in my book, Make Social and Emotional Learning Stick, Practical Strategies to help your Child manage emotions, navigate social situations and reduce anxiety. Let’s embark on a journey of empowering parenting and social-emotional development together!