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Guest Post by:
Janine Halloran, MA, LMHC
Founder & CEO of Coping Skills for Kids
If your child is struggling with anxiety, it can feel like that challenge overtakes everything in your child’s life – and yours! We can feel lost and helpless. What can we do that will actually help them?Â
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Here are some strategies that can significantly impact how you handle anxiety in your home on a daily basis.
First, be a detective – what’s making them anxious?
To help our children, we need to pinpoint what’s bothering them. That information can be instrumental in figuring out what strategies will work best. Children can be anxious about a lot of things, like:
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- Giving a presentation in front of the whole class
- Pop tests/quizzes
- Throwing up
- Being away from their parents
- Bees
- Dogs
- Planes
Once you know what makes them anxious, you can start to identify what strategies might work when they are facing that situation. For example, if they are anxious about throwing up, you might use different strategies than if they were anxious about giving a presentation in front of the whole class. Once you can identify the cause of their anxiety, you can start to figure out strategies that will work.
Five quick strategies that can help manage anxiety
Here are some of my favorite coping skills that I use with my clients who are struggling with anxiety.
Shorter Breath In, Longer Breath Out
While breathing may seem simple, it can make a huge difference. Kids who feel anxious might be in fight, flight, or freeze mode, meaning their breathing is shallow.Â
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To help our children move out of fight, flight, or freeze and back to a calmer state (otherwise known as rest and digest), we can encourage slow breathing. Taking a shorter breath in and a longer breath out helps you get out of fight, flight, or freeze and back to rest and digest more quickly. Have your child give it a try!
Rainbow Grounding
Grounding activities are designed to help us focus on the present and shift out of fight, flight, or freeze as well. This playful grounding activity works well for kids, helping them focus on different colors in their environment.
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Start with a slow belly breath, and look for:
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Two things that are red
Two things that are orange
Two things that are yellow
Two things that are green
Two things that are blue
Two things that are purpleÂ
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End with a slow belly breath.
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To make it easier, you can modify the number of items they find for each color or limit the colors.
Drawing
Sometimes, a distraction strategy can be a helpful intervention for kids with anxiety. This can help their brains reset and get out of panic mode. Drawing something can be an enjoyable way to take a break. Encourage them to get a piece of paper and their favorite markers, crayons, or pencils and let their imagination run wild while they create.
Cool compress on the back of their neck
This is a strategy I have used to help kids get a little calmer in the moment. By putting the cool compress on the back of the neck, the goal is to try to impact the vagus nerve, which is supposed to help the nervous system regulate and get out of fight, flight, or freeze and back down to rest and digest.
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Use a cool compress and have the child put it on the back of their neck near the base for a couple of minutes.
Take a quick walk
Walking around the block in your neighborhood, at a local mall, or around home or school is another way to give a child’s brain a break. Moving to a different location and walking can help children reset and calm themselves. It doesn’t have to take long; even a 10-minute walk can be helpful.
Make a plan and practiceÂ
Now, it’s time to connect the dots! Use the information you gained earlier when you helped them figure out what made them anxious, then plan for that situation.Â
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For example, if they are anxious about giving a presentation in front of the class, identify at least a few strategies they could use the next time, like…
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- Shorter breath in, longer breath out
- Imagine their favorite place
- Rainbow grounding
Most importantly, have them practice these strategies before their next presentation. Practice at night right before bed or in the morning while waiting at the bus stop. Practicing when calm makes the strategies stick in our brains, and it becomes easier to remember to use them in the moment.Â
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By helping our children identify what is making them anxious, finding and practicing healthy and safe strategies they can use, and making a plan to handle those anxiety-provoking situations, our children will be on the path to handle their anxiety in safe and healthy ways instead of letting their anxiety handle them.Â
Interested in Learning More?
Join Janine Halloran, LMHC and Elizabeth A. Sautter, MA, CCC, for their workshop Navigating Big Emotions: Practical Ways to Help Kids Handle Anxiety and Overwhelm. This interactive workshop will dive deeper into managing anxiety and equip you with more tools to help your child thrive. Learn More and Register Here!